YOU KNOW WHATS FUCKING STUPID
WHEN YOUR FAMILY MAKES YOU GO SOMEWHERE WITH THEM AND YOU TELL THEM YOU DONT WANT TO
AND THEN WHEN YOURE ALREADY OUT THEY BLAME YOU FOR BEING ALL ANGRY AND TELL YOU YOU RUIN EVERYTHING
OH WELL MY FUCKING APOLOGIES
I’ve always wondered if God gets excited when we finally find the person He created us to be with. Or if He is watching and is like, “That was them! NO. NO. TURN AROUND! YOU MISSED THEM! THAT WAS THEM!”
“UGH, WHY ARE ALL MY OTPS WALKING BY EACH OTHER WITHOUT NOTICING!”
We are in a giant reality tv show and God and the angels are the fandom.
thunderstorms are nothing more than ship wars going on in heaven
asking inanimate objects if they are joking when they don’t function properly
target is getting so chill
We watched some episodes of sailor moon and i went to go pee, found her in my bag
She’s been in it for hours
Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own.
and mixing them with vodka
At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.
And then regretting your decisions the next morning.
Because you have to work.
and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.
This is my son, Chester, who is nearly 4. He was invited to his friend Chloe’s birthday party today, the theme was prince and princesses. He asked if he could go as Sleeping Beauty, so I bought him a dress and put a cute little clip in his hair.
We arrived at the party to the following comments from the adults present:
“Oh that is just cruel.”
"Why did you make him wear a dress?"
"Poor little man, what’s your mummy playing at?"
"He’s going to hate you when he grows up."
"No way I’d let my son dress like a girl."
The fact is, Chester is almost completely gender neutral. I let him wear what he wants, be it boys or girls clothes, and he plays with whatever toys he likes. This usually involves him holding tea parties while wearing his pink Minnie Mouse top, jeans and a tiara. The guests are more often than not a mixture of Winnie The Pooh characters, dinosaurs, Barbie, Dora and solders, and they’re usually transported in his favorite fire engine.
When my husband arrived at the party later on, he was subjected to endless ridicule from the other dad’s present about how I must keep his balls in my back pocket because otherwise he would have put his foot down and not allowed Chester out like that. Oh, and by the way, our other son dressed as Ariel. When my husband pointed out that the boys were happy, and the mother of the birthday child made a point of saying how wonderful she thought it was that we allowed them freedom of choice and expression, they then stopped talking about it to our faces and started muttering about us behind our backs.
Interestingly enough, not a single child said a word about their choice of costumes, other than to compliment Chester on his new dress.
i’m laughing so hard at this
taking off your clothes like
i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"